Crazy Things I Did Today

I had a tough day today. First, it's my ielts speakng day. Second, the jeepney driver didn't drop me to my destination (like what he said) Third, i arrived late at the speaking test venue..not just late but super late! i was losing myself (to the extent of bursting into tears, kahuluya!) when i got there but dear God is just so nice that He assigned to me considerate and understanding facilitators and interviewer. Fourth, i felt bad for what has happened to me including the fact that i wasted money for taking a cab when i could have walked down to the hotel from where i was staying, if i didn't take the jeepney in the first place. (I am not from iloilo city that is why i am not familiar with its streets. I actually went to the test venue yesterday with divine but I'm not just good at remembering particularly with directions) I didn't just waste my money but also my time. the driver took me somewhere in villa which i estimated to be 30 minutes away from the hotel. I learned not to trust jeepney drivers anymore. Not because they drive the same route everyday means they know all the buildings and hotels along the way really. (Hay!) After my speaking exam, i walked around the downtown area to lose my aggression. i even had a road trip couple of times just to shake off my warring emotions.

When i got to SM, i decided to watch BORN TO LOVE YOU of coco martin and Angeline quinto. Inside, i couldn't watch the movie really.

I was just crying the whole time. It was crazy, i know but i couldn't stop my tears. I found it inappropriate to cry in the hotel. I was just in the height of my emotions so i couldn't really blame myself for crying over what happened.

For all i know, i never wanted more than anything at this time but to get over this stage of my life so i wouldn't do anything to fail ielts the third time around.in fact, i left my hotel 1hour and 30mins earlier than my scheduled time (which was 11:25 AM)

And now i am having my bulimia again because of what happened. After the movie, I bought an ice cream..a half gallon that is! I ate it all by myself when i got to my room. Greedy me. It seemed that i couldn't get enough of it. this is what stress can do to me. I thought it would make me feel better. it just cooled me down for awhile but made me regret of how much carbs i gained, ooooosh! I like to stop thinking about the whole thing because it is starting to make me go crazy. Tomorrow is another part of IELTS WAR and i cannot allow myself to be half-minded when taking the exam. God help! This is just another of my mumblings.sigh! ~Saiyee~<3