do u know what came into my mind the first time i met you? youre nothing but an unremarkable guy.
do u know what i was thinking when you asked me out the first time? i didnt want to do anything with you.
do you know why i said yes when you asked me to be your girl 18days from that night we met? i just pitied you.
i bet you you thought i liked you because you were nice, fun and thoughtful, but do u want to know the reason why i really stayed with you for 3years? ...because you're everything i liked.
do you know why i liked breaking up with you so often in just a week? i wanted you to get the hang of it and realize that we'd still make up.
i guess you didnt figure out the real reason why i always forget things..petty and childish as it was but i just wanted you to check on me everytime.
you always complained i took you for granted, but didn't you realize that i was too submissive to you. you walk, i walk. you stop, i stop.
do u still remember the time when i asked you how are you gonna protect me when you didnt even have karate moves in you and you just posted a prente smile and said that we could run? i was disappointed but was happy too. "we" running away. i wanted us to do things "together" no matter how hard they get.
do you know why, despite other guys trying to get my attention, i remained faithful to you? i may had failed to tell you, but i was hapilly in love with you then.
do you know why i made you say sorry each time we fight? i was addicted as to how we made up after arguing over some things. you were the smoke that made me high.
you asked me why i was breaking up with you... i didnt know. i didnt even want to do it. i just wanted us to focus on our career first.
i had to let go of you just to keep you from hearing not so nice things from the people i love. i never wanted you to get hurt in anyway.
people may think i was stupid for thinking that you'd wait even me without telling you to do that, but i did.
while we were apart, i had made 3 boyfriends and i heard you also did. it made me think that we were moving on pretty well, but do u know that my memories with you kept on popping in my mind.
catching up with you over a meal after 3 long years of not seeing you, did you feel that same familiar feeling u had when we were still together coming back? as of me, nothing changed a bit. i may have forgotten how it felt for a while but i realized it was never gone.
do u know how i felt when u asked me to try taking you away from her? i felt hope, but i was scared that i wouldnt be able to stand up for you up until that day. i just couldnt do that.
i just cant forget how u looked like when i told you not to fall for me again. you told me you were getting married, and i was confused as to what i was feeling towards you then. i didnt know if i was only envious of you getting the next step of your life or what but i felt so stuffy inside my chest.
all i was certain that moment was that i couldn't afford hurting you once again so i said i was happy about it, but do you want to know what i really felt? ..as if my heart was rotting and melting and getting numb i couldnt even feel it was there.
i couldnt gather myself to ask you to leave her because that was so damn unfair. i was just praying that you figure what i wished you to do..well figures huh?
i admitted long
ago that of all the talents i have in this lifetime, cooking is the one that is unmanageable but i tried
learning it because i wanted to cook for you everyday.
do
u still remember that night when i asked you to give me a ruby ring on
our engagement? i just wanted you to bear in your mind that it was you
that i wanted to end up with.
i was what-can-we-do-glad to hear that you wanted to grow old with me but she was too nice for you to betray her since she was there for you when i wasn't. so it was just a bubble talk that i had to pop.
i understood that part so i consoled myself by thinking that somebody nice is going to take care of you from the rest of your life...what makes me down sad is that it'snever gonna be me and you after all.
now looking at your picture as a married couple, i cant help but think that from now on, i have to figure things out on my own.
i find it hard, but i keep hearing your voice telling me that i can do it just like the times when i couldn't go on doing something...you encouraged me to do things one step at a time and that's what im gonna do.
i really wish you happy life...that's the least thing i can do for you, as a friend this time.
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